Our Relationships with One Another (post 2)

Putting aside the idea that I have a big head and like the sound of my own voice (or the look of my own typeset), my reasons for writing this blog are simple.

I want to share with people my belief that it is our relationships with one another that are the most important things in our lives.  Of all that we might accomplish, it is the mutual understandings with friends and family that are the most satisfying and most permanent.  Those moments when two people connect with each other in meaningful ways - gain greater understanding of each other, glimpse the world through each other's eyes - those are the most beautiful moments in the universe.

We can build cities, invent new technology, draft constitutions for nations - all of which have profound effects on the future of humanity.  But there would be no point or purpose to any of that if not for the simple acts of spending time with each other and enjoying each others' company.

When I write, I comment on many things.  And, as my former students will gleefully confirm, I easily get sidetracked.  But underlying the details and tangents, I am propelled by a desire to share myself with others - to work toward those moments of mutual understanding - and to, whenever possible, encourage others to do the same.

This is not to say that creating or maintaining meaningful relationships is easy.  It is a fact that, for whatever reasons, we can be and often are very hurtful to each other.  Why do we take pleasure in hurting one another?  I don't know.  Perhaps that is topic for another time.  But we do hurt each other - and our ability and desire to hurt is the major obstacle in forming and maintaining our relationships.

I sometimes feel that I have spent too much of my life avoiding others (out of fear) than reaching out.  It is something I regret but luckily can rectify.  In my new job, I am forced to reach out to people all the time - and I have often sat in front of my phone with a list of numbers that I'm suppose to call and observed as my heart rate intensified and the blood drained from my face.

When I am afraid, I try to tell myself that the worst thing that can happen is pain (both physical and emotional).  The question that life poses to us is whether our desire to connect with others is greater than our fear of (and tolerance for) the pain that they can (and do) cause.

Sometimes the answer is no (and rightfully so).  Hopefully, more often - the answer is yes.